Remembering Presence

Every night after and every day since,
I find myself crying when the memory hits.
Sometimes it knocks me down, sometimes I can just put it away.
Down in my mind where I don’t care to go,
The pain of a lesson is letting me know
If you have love in your heart let it show while you can.
Yes now I understand,
But now my only chance
To talk to you is through my prayers;
I only wanted to tell ya I care.

“Through My Prayers”, by The Avett Brothers


       Wait, what?  I thought Lent was over.  Well, it is, but I’m memorializing the blog here, and our daily meditation, which I need to honor today, so that I might start to live it again.

       I miss the discipline of a daily commitment, which is what doing something for 40 days instills in me.  Routine, habit, and benefits galore.  For me it was kinda like running a race (and then collapsing at the end.)  I’m back up though!  For today anyway.  In memoriam…

       Memorial Day to me is not all red white and blue, parades and poolside parties. (Does it ever really feel like summer anyway?!)  Nor is it a day to eulogize perfection, or put people on a to-be-scrutinized pedestal.  Instead, I believe it is a day to honor the journeys of those that came before us which, for better or for worse, have impacted the ones we are on now.  Most of those lives involved sacrifice, so I figure it’s the least I can do.

       Today, I remember, and recognize ; People, Places, Lessons, and Lives fully lived.  This Memorial Day I find myself as the eldest female in my children’s lives for the first time.  That’s weird…

       Yesterday, I unpacked a suitcase of stuff of my mothers.  I had thrown in there one of the five pairs of white leather gloves that go up to the elbow.  It’s hard not to laugh thinking about how I might explain them to my children, and what those eras above them looked like.  The only constant is change.  Cliche, but true.

       This day also represents the psychological transition from spring to summer for me.  With that comes newness, and a falling away of the old.  Seasonally, the barrenness of winter has given way to new growth, new hope.  That is reinforced in the yogic world where the energy at play is Vata~ representing airiness and the winds of change.  This can be a bit scary; it’s easy to get attached to the past.  We no more take a breath than it is time to exhale that and begin to take in a new one.  New breaths, new problems, new exciting developments;  It is constant.  Easy come, easy go.  Or not so easy. 

       Sometimes it seems the deeper breath you take, the more you need to let go of.  And maybe even the more you practice being mindful, the more the universe doles up reasons you need to be.  (If this feels to be the case, rest assured, you are not alone!)

       I am trying to find some balance today between pausing to look back and bringing the lessons from the past into the present moment.  It is all happening at once- remembering and honoring the past, and appreciating it in real time.  For me it is a reminder;  I need some routines and rituals to keep me grounded.

       Hopefully you have a few of these tools as well, and a few of the seeds you planted during Lent have manifested into a practice you are doing, or might consider taking up again.  It is a good day to honor your 40 day commitment and some of the good that might have grown out of it.

       For me, that came in the form of awesome community.  This has continued to be stabilizing for me as the winds of change blow, with graduations, and confirmations, and life marching on.  

       People in this community sent me feedback, thoughts, and some tools they have used and liked.  It was suggested I share them here.  I’ve included a few below, but I can’t find them all. (Back to the 33,000 emails…)  My apologies, and gratitude for all the sharing!  (If you are feeling extra inspired please share anything that might be of benefit or interest to others in the comments below.)

       The key remains;  Practice practice practice.  Remembering today, “You don’t quench your thirst by talking about water.”

       Walk your dogs, write in your journal, go for a long drive, stare at the water, give thanks, do yoga, listen to recorded meditations. Be still. There are many ways to have peace.  And on this Memorial Day, I suggest sharing with someone what it is or who it is that you are remembering today.   The spirit of everyone, and every thing, is kept alive in your doing so.

       Cheers, thanks, peace  .  .  .

       And enjoy !

.~          ~          ~

Some tools I use and you can subscribe to as well:

A wonderful daily recorded meditation that I get every morning, Breathwork & Biblically based. Super soothing voice and music.

A daily message from Fred Buechner, my favorite inspirational writer:

Renewal Works/ Jay Sidebotham Monday Message:

Also recommended are options for daily emails from Elephants Journal, Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation.

Other 40 day programs are :

Jack Kornfield & Tara Brach (here is a free 40 day program that was recommended to me last month)

And one that I have done a few times runs in January, but recorded meditations are still available (and in many ways was the inspiration for this):

Feast For the Soul;

Also recommended are regular recordings and programs by Sharon Salzman, Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson. Each have websites and regular offerings.


Last; Appropos to memorializing this first memorial day and month of mothers and my mothers birthday, comes the poem that came my way when I needed it, was part of her eulogy, and was featured yesterday in Elephants Journal.


and …

This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. Love today’s message and memorializing the blog! Don’t let IT go:)

  2. So glad you are back at it! She Just Let Go is exactly what I needed today. Thank you for sharing your gift.

  3. Love this❤️My mom and I just unpacked boxes and boxes of my grandmothers gloves. I kept one black pair that goes to my elbow. I am determined to find a reason to wear them … love you❤️

  4. A wonderful and very missed email in my inbox today, thank you!

  5. Thanks, Elinor. You are a gifted writer. How about blogging when the Spirit moves you – not when a human-designed liturgical calendar demands it? After all, it is summer. Time for sunsets and rolling waves and friendly beaches and walking the dogs without long johns and a down jacket. Peace!

  6. What a gift to have an essay to ponder over. I was waiting until later today to savor it. Thanks for the blessing.

    Gloves are such an interesting fashion choice. Theaters are always looking for them! Use them driving! You’ll surely get some rubber necking fun out of that!

    Hoping you are well.
    Missed seeing you lately.

  7. What a gift to have your post appear in my inbox…I missed them. Miss you too!

  8. Glad that you are posting again and thank you for the tools!

  9. Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing. I love getting your emails and feel so at peace when I read them. Your words are wise and healing.

  10. Like!! I blog quite often and I genuinely thank you for your information. The article has truly peaked my interest.

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