I don’t know about you, but added to the plethora of emotions and moods I’ve been experiencing is “dazed and confused.” Recent days – for me- have been defined by uncertainty. I’ve given up on the large things, like what our jobs, educations, homelife, travels and the dynamics of our lives might look like going forward.
Now I find myself expending energy trying to figure out what day of the week it is, what time zone I scheduled a zoom call in…. the basics – like who’s on first? This seems to be a highly contagious component of Corona. Brain atrophy. My doctor friends tell me it’s the bi-product of cortisol overload. (Promise?!)
The daze of Corona quarantine– you know of what I speak, yes?
Covid-19 is a disease of uncertainty and inflammation, all the way around. I am convinced. These two components, coupled together, equal one thing. FEAR! And the best way to deal with that is together, with a sense of camaraderie and honesty about where we all are. Mandatory empathy and humor. Misery loves company. (See videos below!)
I have gotten used to haywire and ludicrous. I guess that’s what happens when you hit your breaking point–all you can do–laugh. Laying in bed with Covid-19 and getting shaken like a martini with an earthquake in Idaho. Really?
Today I was pulling out of a drive and glanced down the valley to see billowing smoke. That’s not a forest fire, I thought. I’m not going there. Then a mile later, a fire truck I passed. I thought–hmmm, could be getting someone to the hospital. There have been so many hospital helicopters overhead. Then a second firetruck. The winds were howling- of course there was a three alarm fire (now under control.) No rest for the weary first responders. Nothing is unimaginable for anyone at this point.
It is quite clear that there is SO much we don’t know. Right now I am trying to put energy into what I do know. For me~
I do know what I believe in, and can really rely on. This comes in the way of people who will non-judgmentally hear me and give me unconditional love when I need it, which is now.
God knows we all need unconditional love right now.
No one is their best self in Corona daze.
We are in crisis mode overload; cortisol and adrenaline pump through our veins (and then burn out and drop us like hot potatoes into the blues.) We don’t know which way is up, so to speak.
The way out is uncertain. We are experiencing a pandemic of inflammation. Corona causes it throughout bodies, and seemingly in all our interactions. Have you ever needed to bite your tongue ever so much? Or have you ever incurred so much judgment? Or given it? Scrutiny abounds, and the need to be respectful of others’ perspectives, whether or not we view them as rational, is crucial. It’s a balance, of minding our own business and being mindful of others’.
So many stories of fear and frustration- the police are called because two family members stand too close to one other in an open space they went to together. A friend whose test is delayed is subtly accused by others of lying about the results. Recovered patients are inadvertently treated in a way that reminds us of the early days of AIDS, when fear of transmission was equally out of control. We are all doing our best. It is something to remember with each scrutiny that pops in our mind, just before we bite our tongues. Be humbled – be an observer, and write down your crazy stories of these Corona days. I’m guessing we will look back in disbelief.
What we need right now: Certainty and anti-inflammatory ways of being. Two things I’m hanging on to:
1. The notion that “This is temporary.” Anyone that tells you it is not should be dropped from your text threads. No room for doom & gloomers.
~ and ~
2. The Four Agreements. They are gold. They are my commandments.
I try to live by them. I certainly do not do so perfectly. But I return to them, and reference them, every day. They remind me to zip it. (And to try to be impeccable with my word.) To forgive. (And not make assumptions that the ridiculous things coming out of mouths are anything besides that person’s fear and pride. And that those struggling with their pride and control right now are really struggling. Life is out of control; accept that, or suffer more. (Don’t take anything personally.) And practice self-care and self forgiveness. So long as I am trying to do my best, I can rest assured, and let go of a lot.
Remember this is temporary (I swear!)
Think on these four agreements. They will never let you down.
That’s their promise, and I believe it.
As a nod to the NFL and their adaptive homey way of doing things: last night- here’s how the four agreements has influenced Tom Brady click here.
…and some Corona daze humor. laugh don’t cry~ forgive don’t judge ~be cool~be humbled. we are all in this insanity together~